Ontario ministry leader Tim Whitehead, author of the new book "Love Personified," shares how he learned love needs to precede introducing others to Jesus.
Perhaps the scariest thing for a Christian is sharing their faith. You’re saved, so you can confidently say, “Death, where is your sting?” But opening up to someone about your faith? That’s a fate worse than death! I can share all sorts of methods and strategies for sharing your testimony and the gospel, but there is a step that must come first.
A friend told me that while he was at university, he studied how to debate Christians who seemed only interested in converting people to score points. He was offended when they approached him, trying to persuade him to put his faith in Jesus. He became an avowed atheist.
But then his grandfather died. They were very close. And a caring professor who, by demonstrating to my friend that he was important and loved, convinced him that following Jesus was the best decision he could make.
It wasn’t the apologetic, archaeological, historical or philosophical arguments that won him over. It was someone demonstrating and communicating love.
Love. When asked what the most important commandment was, Jesus responded, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” Then He followed up with, “The second is like it, love your neighbour as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31).
Not only is loving others the greatest commandment we are to obey, but Jesus later told His disciples that love should be the very defining element of our character. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35)
Let me confess a big failure in my life. We had a family in crisis in our church. It was a blended family, and there was a lot of strain. The daughter had been kicked out of school, so my wife (who is a much better Christian than I am) reached out and had her over at our house almost daily to help with her studies, spend time with our two little girls, and help around the house. It was a healthy mentoring relationship.
But it meant we were pulled into the mess, and I resented it. One day, my wife met me at the door, and instead of a “Hello” or “How was your day,” she said, “I was talking to the mom today and...”
I cut her off. “I don’t care about them; they can go to hell, for all I care!”
Immediately I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, “Tim, you don’t get it. I care. I love them.” It was the lowest point of my Christian life. I should mention that I was in full-time vocational ministry. It was my job to tell people about Jesus, but I didn’t love them.
How do we learn to love others? To love our brothers and sisters in Christ, to love our neighbours and – the real hard one – to love our enemies?
First, we need to realize that the love Jesus commands us to show is not an emotion. It's not infatuation, attraction or even affection. It is a purposeful, intentional state of mind that is both tangible and measurable. We choose, no matter the circumstances, to treat God and others a certain way.
That way is detailed in 1 Corinthians 13. We need to choose patience, kindness, humility and hope. Most of all, we need to yield to the Holy Spirit. There is no replacement for daily prayer and Bible study to fill us with God’s love that we can pour out on others.
Rev. Tim Whitehead CPA, CMA, of Hamilton, Ont., is author of Love Personified, a study of 1 Corinthians 13 that examines the historical figures of the Bible who demonstrated real love for God and others. He serves as executive director of Galcom International, a ministry that produces technical equipment for communicating the gospel worldwide.